small-scale violence in the world of warcraft

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

a day in the life of a flayer youngling

"chiba. yeah. see, molly's been to chiba, too."

molly does not know what the master means when he says that. but he smiles and pats molly on the head when he does, and he is proud of molly, and that is the best thing in the world.

molly has a job. molly is fast, and molly's claws are razor sharp, and molly kills whomever the master says should die. it is a good job, and molly does it well because molly wants to please the master.

today there is a baby, a little bunny rabbit. molly could easily kill it and eat it, but that is not molly's job. the baby is to be protected, so that it can grow to be strong and fierce and serve the master, alongside molly. this will be a good thing. so molly does not kill it.

the baby rabbit is facing a bandicoon. it swipes at the baby, who tries to dodge, but it is young and slow. blood! the bandicoon has hurt the master's baby! evil, evil bandicoon! it must die!

molly runs forward into the fight. the evil bandicoon turns toward molly, but it is slow and stupid and molly's claws are cutting it, slicing, killing, destroying. it manages to bite molly's leg, but this is not important. molly does not have time to bleed. soon the bandicoon is dead, and the baby is saved. the master will be pleased.

treachery! the evil one had an ally, lurking in the grass. it attacks molly with teeth and claws, but molly is smart. molly twists out of its path, then uses its own ferocity against it. some of its attacks hurt molly, but they are of no consequence. molly is fast and molly's claws are sharp, and molly serves the master, and so she cannot lose. soon the second bandicoon lies dead on the ground, next to its evil friend.

again! these bandicoons think they can drown molly with numbers, but they will fail. slice! stab! blood! fury! molly's ferocity is too much, and soon the third villian is defeated. molly roars in triumph, a warning to all who defy the master.

why ... why is it so dark? was there ... poison? nasty ... evil ... bandicoons.

the baby ... the baby survived. the baby gained experience. so ... molly did her job? the master ... is pleased with molly?

the master ... will ... revive ... loyal ... molly?


  1. I really must get around to naming my pets. I look forward to the accounts of your pet battles :)

  2. OK, now, let's get one thing straight. NO MAKING ME CRY WITH PET BATTLES. Srsly. What's the world coming to...

    1. it ain't a ratshag blog if i don't make someone cry every now and then.

  3. my my, william gibson-themed pet battles. :)

    1. been wanting to find a way to use that quote for, like, two years.

  4. Replies
    1. Molly the Flayer sounds like the most kick ass pirate girl name ever. Great story sir

  5. Oh dear .. surely the master will revive ... good read =)